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I clearly remember
the day when I started to turn my life around. The moment felt surreal
then, but the feelings I had remain vivid to this day. My mother had
come from Spain to visit Patricia (my wife) and I. Mirroring every
reunion in the last ten years (since my parents moved back to Spain),
this one was preceded with two or three months of depression, caused by,
and resulting in, uncontrolled weight gain. I felt like an absolute
failure for not being able to take control of my own life. Although my
parents had never given me a reason to, I had come to dread seeing them
and I hated myself for that.
After a couple of uncomfortable days of avoiding the subject by focusing
on stories about our family in Spain, I finally informed my mother of my
decision to undergo bariatric surgery to lose weight. We discussed the
risks and ramifications of undergoing this type of major surgery and she
even offered to use the resources available to her (she is a nursing
director at a major hospital) to help me get the best possible result.
However, she emphasized a fact that stuck with me; even if the surgery
were successful in reducing my weight, it would not resolve the
underlying self-esteem issues that were at the root of my uncontrolled
weight gain. I felt embarrassed and defeated because my decision was an
affirmation that I was incapable of dealing with my problem.
My situation did
not improve then. In fact my self-esteem continued to decline during our
vacation to the Adirondacks. Each hike through the hills was a painful
reminder of my severely limited mobility and decaying health. Then,
after my mother returned to Spain and described my situation to my
father, the final blow was delivered. My parents, heartbroken with my
pitiful situation and feeling the need to help, offered to quit their
jobs, move in to my home and help me through my recovery. The mixture of
feelings I had was overwhelming. I loved my parents for showing such
care and volunteering for such self-sacrifice, but I despised myself for
being so weak that I had forced my parents to this position. At that
point, when my parents began to treat me like a child again, I
understood that I had to grow up and take charge of my life. I summarily
rejected their offer yet promised that I would reach out for their help
when I needed it. That was when I set off on my weight loss odyssey. |
During the next few weeks I researched all the different weight loss
options; from self imposed diet programs to bariatric bypass surgery.
The sea of options was overwhelming and I could not decide what was the
best option for me. In the past I had tried virtually every fad diet
known to man, each yielding different levels of relative success; but
all concluding in the same eventual result, fully regained weight. All
my previous failures had taught me a couple of things: first, that I did
not have the will power or self-esteem to hold myself accountable for a
prolonged time; second, that no diet had given me the tools to
transition into a sustainable healthy lifestyle. I decided that the only
way I was going to be successful was if I tackled those two problems
directly and the only method I thought could do that would be a
physician supervised diet. With that in mind I scheduled a visit with my
family doctor to discuss the options. The doctor’s check up uncovered yet more evidence of the fragile state
of my health; high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, borderline
diabetic glucose levels and signs of severe fat-infiltrated liver. In
our discussions, my doctor suggested that I visit a Physicians Diet
Center, where I could get the type of structured, science-based
treatment I was looking for.
While looking up the contact information for the Physicians Diet Center, I stumbled into a listing for Weight Management Partners. The listing
had enough information to leave me intrigued, so I decided to give them
a call. Darlene Paluf, who, with Dr. Barbara Berkeley, had founded WMP,
described in a nutshell the basic premises of the program.
I felt that
the structured program, which de-emphasized the role of food and
emphasized the role of physical activity in my daily life, the frequent
follow-up visits with close monitoring of my body’s response to the
diet, and the philosophy of long-term maintenance of healthy habits fit
perfectly with my needs. The only concern that I had was the ability to
accommodate the dietary restrictions of the program while seeing
Patricia (my wife) indulge in our usual meals. Patricia recognized the
opportunity to support me in an endeavor that she understood was crucial
for me as a person but also for us as a couple. She also saw a good
opportunity for her to shed some extra pounds that she had put on as a
result of my bad influence. Thus, she suggested that we embark in this
voyage together. This display of support convinced me to take on the
challenge and I immediately scheduled our first visit to the South
Russell office.
It was a couple of weeks before Christmas when we first visited WMP. The
visit comprised a thorough review of our blood-work, EKG results,
medical history and body parameters to assess the suitability of the
program to our state of health. My weight that day was 368 lbs and my
waist size was 56”; for my 5’10” frame, that put my BMI off the charts.
Patricia’s weight was 172 lbs and she wore size 16 clothes. The huge
potential benefits of reducing my weight far outweighed the relatively
low risk of the program resulting in an aggravation of my liver
problems. For Patricia the only downside was the potential for some hair
loss. We resolved to start the program on the first day of the
fast-approaching new year.
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Over the next two weeks we prepared ourselves for our upcoming lifestyle
change. We emptied our cabinets of the foods that we would no longer
need. We converted our basement into our personal gym. But most
importantly, we searched within ourselves for the strength to follow
through on the most important project for our lives. And I reached out
to God, like never before, for help and guidance.
As committed, we started the program on January 1, 2006. The excitement
of the adventure that we had just started on made the first week go
quite fast. We did not feel hunger and enjoyed the taste of the
supplements and although Darlene suggested we take it easy the first
week, we went for a couple of short walks on the mall. The results were
breathtaking. During our weigh-in we found that we had lost, as a
couple, more than twenty pounds. Success was sweeter than any dessert we
had ever tasted, and it nurtured our resolve.
We continued to rigidly follow the program guidelines for many weeks.
The weight continued to steadily come off and our energy level kept
going higher. We could see our physical capabilities improve before our
very eyes. We reveled in our newfound strength and we challenged
ourselves to ever-longer hikes. We could not believe that we could hike
for ten miles straight when just three months before we could hardly
manage one mile.
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It has now been nine months to the day that we started on the program.
We have seen our once disproportionate bodies melt away. For the first
time since High School, I weigh less than 220 lbs and can shop for
clothes in regular stores. Patricia has reached her goal of 120 lbs and
can barely find clothes for her size-4 waist. With every pound lost, we
have gained new opportunities to enjoy our lives. We can’t describe the
joy that we felt this morning when during a health screening at my
employer the nurses called us “models of good health”. I am ecstatic
because I now have normal cholesterol, blood pressure, blood glucose and
liver function, which probably mean I have added at least ten years to
my life. My parents and sister came to visit us three weeks ago; and for
the first time in eleven years I have felt nothing but utter happiness
to see them. Also for the first time in countless years, I am proud of
myself. I am proud because I overcame my own weakness without resorting
to surgery. I am proud because I took control of my life. I am proud
because I matured. But I am also immensely grateful, for I did not
accomplish everything by myself. I am grateful for everyone at Weight
Management Partners, whose guidance and support have led me in the right
direction through the whole process. I am grateful for my wife Patricia,
whose love, support and dedication to our cause have been essential for
the success of our journey. And I am grateful to God for giving me the
strength to carry on. Today, probably for the first time in my life, I
am happy to just be me.
But our journey does not end here. Losing the weight was only the first
chapter of this story. The real challenge begins now. To live a life of
healthy choices, of fun activities and pleasures in moderation. Now,
that doesn’t sound so hard, does it?
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